Movie Trailers

I love them and I hate them.  I hate them because most of them give the entire fucking movie away in two and half minutes.  I love them because it saves me a lot of money from having to see a lot of really bad crap.  I have a photographic memory (the parts of my memory that haven’t been damaged by age or gin), so I can tell you a lot about movies that have come out even though I haven’t seen most of them.  I love getting to the theater early to see the movie trailers, and I spend a lot of time online watching movie trailers for movies I will never, ever see.

I think movie trailers, and advertising in general, are part of the movie going experience.  In general, I think the best way to go into a movie is blind and clueless (ironic, no?), but I also think that advertising and pre-exposure to a story can have an added effect.  For instance, take the trailer for the new Star Trek movie by J.J. Abrams.  I know nothing about the cast or the plot.  Because it is part of a well known franchise, I know there will be the Enterprise and some kind of mission.  Bt this trailer gives nothing away, except the one important factor you need to know – this is the beginning.  It shows the Enterprise under construction.  That’s it!  Genius.  I hope there is no further trailers for this movie.  Anticipation is there.  Don’t fuck it up!

But even if you make a new trailer, I’ll watch it.  It’s what I do.

Addiction

I just can’t help myself.  I have an addictive personality.  Several years ago, while I was in college, I had a hole in my life.  Some people would have filled it with drugs, or risky sex, or adrenaline sports, but not me.  I am a recovering TV junkie.  To better understand my addiction, I took a class in Television History and Theory.  The instructor showed us a number of television shows, past and present.  One of the shows she exhibited that I had never seen before was The X-Files.  

I was hooked from minute one.  It was late in the show’s run, Season 3 maybe.  Sundays at 9:00PM became a religious time.  I watched every old episode rerun on FX Channel.  I started spending food money on VHS boxed sets of the show.  I bought books, episode guides, action figures.  I did not have a girlfriend.  And then the movie came out.  I bought tickets for every screening on opening day.  I watched it 4 times in a row.  I even lined up different friends to see it at different times with me.  I had a problem.

Then, Mulder left the show.  They explained the conspiracy in Season 6.  Suddenly, the juice wasn’t as strong.  They were watering down the smack.  I needed a bigger fix.  It was shortly after that I left college to go work. It was then I realized that my addition could ruin my life.  I got off the junk.  I stopped watching TV.  Maybe one or two shows a week, just to relax.  I could handle it.  Nothing was as addictive as The X-Files.  I could do one or two Family Guys or an ER without getting trapped.

It’s been almost eight years now.  And now this.  The old dealers are back with new product.  I’m scared.  I’m scared to fall back into that trap.  Somebody help me…..

 

Back in Business

Thanks to the quick thinking of the folks at the Apple Service Center, my laptop was fixed in a week.  They told me they might need to order a new battery for it, which would take a month because you need a special permit to import lithium batteries into Thailand.  Apparently one exploded in a warehouse not too long ago.  But, importing the part that reads and controls the battery doesn’t need a special permit.  So there you go.  And thank you Manufacturer’s Warranty for your 90 days 100% Free goodness.

Run to the Border

No, I didn’t visit a Taco Bell.  I had to do a visa run – an annoying but necessary process for staying in a foreign country for a long time.  Essentially, visas – whether they be tourist, work, education, or marriage - only last so long.  When they expire, if you want to stay, you have to get a new one.  Which means you have to leave the country and apply for one at a foreign embassy.  But, even though I am in the depths of South East Asia, I did manage to have a Taco while I was on my border run.  How’s that for globalization?

It’s Damn Hot.

It is fucking hot here.  Nasty hot.  It is as if the gates of Hell have opened so that Lucifer may look upon all he has accomplished and we are getting the breeze.  I walked outside at midnight yesterday and was immediately drenched with sweat from head to toe.  

You want to know what it’s like here?  Go turn your oven on to 450 degrees.  Let it warm up for about an hour.  Put on your heaviest winter clothes.  Now climb inside and have someone turn on the broiler.  Did you see the movie Sunshine?  It’s kind of like that.  But REAL.  Unless you live within spitting distance of the equator, you have no idea what I’m talking about.  

Who needs a water fight? 

Coffee

 
Without coffee, this blog wouldn’t exist.  Some people might thank their parents, or GOD, or something in their life that would appreciate the credit of having had a positive influence on the direction of life.  ”I’d like to thank the Lord for giving me the blessing of writing this blog…”  Well, I’ve thanked the Lord for a lot of things already (iPhones, good health, not striking me down with lightning for the bad things I’ve done), so it’s time to give credit elsewhere. 

While my parents deserve credit perhaps for my sense of humor, or relatively high self-esteem, or even for pushing me to try great things, this blog is not one of them and they have had no immediate influence on this blog.  Coffee, on the other hand….. 

As I pull my fresh brain out of bed, and stumble through the first hour of each day, it is coffee that brings my body in alignment with my mind.  While a good night’s rest and temporary morning amnesia  allow my brain to throttle at 7000 RPM, it is coffee that releases the emergency brake from my motor system.  It is a slow process.  My fingers wake first (being small and on the fringe of my personal landscape) and so I can type before I can really move anything else.  In fact, you should imagine a slightly swollen-eyed, bad-breathed man, half-naked, paralyzed-except-for-his-fingers-and-the-arm-that-brings-the-mug-to-his-mouth, typing each of these blog entries.   

Thank you, coffee.

Current Playlist

 Miles Davis – Bitches Brew | Tom Petty – Highway Companion | Rilo Kiley – All | Counting Crows – Saturday Nights and Sunday Mornings | Jayhawks – Tomorrow the Green Grass | Nine Inch Nails – Ghosts I-IV | Bob Mould – District Line 

Picture of the Day

Bacteria

 I learned about the bacterial effects of yogurt after some recent alone time with my friend, ameobic dysentery.  As if to answer the call to replenish the good bacteria in my digestive system, a Thai company has released a new brand of yogurt called simply, Bacteria.  The english name is Activia, but all the Thai people call it “Bacteria”, so they’re not fooling anyone.  It sells like mad in the stores here.A similar effort to rename veal “dead baby cows” did not have the same effect. 

Craptop

So, my new laptop, only 6 weeks old, took a dump yesterday. After sleeping for about two days, I tried to wake it up but it played dead better than my parents at 5:00AM on Christmas morning. I finally got it to boot up, when it started spinning through black and white screens, the Apple scroll wheel has transformed into a bar, and the toolbar didn’t load properly. I have had Apple computers for five years now, plus iPods and an iPhone. This behavior is akin to your straight-A, homeless-feeding, charity-giving, ever-praying child suddenly mutilating one of his homeless clients.

As it stands now, the laptop won’t recognize the battery at all, the OS loads imperfectly, and the fan runs like it is on meth. I called Apple, and Thailand is not on their official support list (no Apple stores, no iPhone, etc), so they’ll ship me a new battery – to California – or I get to go to the tech store where I bought the laptop and try to convince them that Thailand’s universal policy of No Refunds No Exchanges is inherently flawed and that they should assist me for free.

GRRRRRRRR.

(PS: I still love Apple.)