Fuck Washington Mutual
Ever since they collapsed and were sold like a Ukranian sex worker to JP Morgan, it seems no one at the banks gives a shit any more. I understand there would be a period of adjustment as one company swallows the other, but it seems like WaMu doesn’t like to be swallowed, it’d rather shoot its bitter load all over the faces of its customers. Today I got some in my eye.
I frequently have checks sent to their bank-by-mail department from clients, since I can’t be in America to manually deposit them. For three years I have had checks deposited this way. Last month, a substantial check never made it to the bank, even though the client was debited the amount.
It has been THREE WEEKS. No sign of the check. I made arrangements for a new check to be cut, but called one last time to make sure the check hadn’t shown up. First I called my branch, who always handles any discrepancies, and was met on the phone by the rudest, most crass, aggressive human I’ve ever met. Yelling at me that she can’t give me information on MY account because it wasn’t a secure line (WTF?), that since I didn’t see the check in my online banking statement it didn’t exist, and that I needed to call at least 10 people that were not HER.
I finally wrangled, after verbally swatting her nose with a rolled up newspaper (“Bad bitch!”), the phone number for customer service. I asked them for the number for the Bank-By-Mail department. I was met by someone who must be scared of the woman I just talked to, because he spoke with a weak quiver in his voice, as if his testicles were tied to electrical wires that would discharge should he actually give out any information.
“May I have the number for the Bank By Mail department?”
“We don’t have one of those”
“Yes you do.”
“Let me look. Oh, I see an address.”
“Phone number?”
“No.”
“No there isn’t one or no you won’t give it to me?”
“There is no phone number.”
“I’ve called them before, they have a phone number.”
“No they don’t.”
“They don’t have a phone at all?”
“No.”
“Not one phone in the whole building?”
“No. No phones.”
It was at this point I realized WaMu, for whatever reason, has a new batch of employees that cannot find their own asshole, let alone my fucking check.
I have worked for several companies, and I know that when things start smelling foul, the good employees get the fuck out before the building falls down. Washington Mutual is crumbling, their employees are not only morons, but unhelpful, remedial bottom feeders that are going to lose your money, and fuck up your life.
This is a warning. Get the fuck out before it crumbles. Fuck the FDIC. They can’t insure deposits that never make it to the bank.
GGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
It’s not just WAMU – with the collapsing economy, no one, anywhere, seems to give a fuck anymore. I feel like people should be kissing my ass because I am giving them business during these hard times, and that they should be damned thankful for the paycheck they are getting because of me when millions of people a month are being kicked into the unemployment lines, but whatever!